Reflections

Someone at the counter asked me a question with an obvious answer.
I felt offended. Slightly insulted.

Like they hadn't been paying attention.
Like they thought I was an idiot.

Then I walked away and it hit me.
They weren't asking because they needed to know.
They were asking because their screen wouldn't let them move on without it.

A dropdown. A required field. An audit trail.

The question was never for them.
It was never really for me either.

I got offended by a checkbox.
The only person who made it personal was me.

Eyes open.
The clock says something you didn't plan.

That jolt hits fast. The mental tally of what you should've started by now.
The day already feels behind before your feet touch the floor.

But here's the thing.

The morning didn't punish you.
The coffee tastes the same at 10am.
The inbox hasn't multiplied in protest.

Nothing actually broke.

We're trained to feel guilty about rest.
As if sleeping in is a character flaw.
As if the body asking for more is a weakness to override.

But the guilt isn't feedback.
It's just noise left over from someone else's schedule.

The day doesn't care what time you showed up.
Only that you did.

You hold yourself steady in the meeting.
Measured in the conversation.
Contained at the dinner table.

Composure. Professionalism. Maturity.

All good names for the same quiet cage.

Notice how kids act?
They run for no reason.
Laugh too loud.
Spin until they fall.

No one's taught them to stay small yet.
That comes later and we call it growing up.

But the body remembers what it wants.
To move without reason.
To make sounds without a script.

Stillness has a place.
But held too long it stops being calm.

It starts being absent.

Today is a good day to be a little louder.

We ask for signs when we're lost.

Sometimes they arrive when we've forgotten to ask.

Three days in a row.
The same wedge-tailed eagle circling above my head.

Not passing through.
Circling.
Watching.

You spend so long wondering if you're on the right path.
If the next step is the wrong one.
If you've drifted too far from where you belong.

Then something ancient circles overhead and you remember.

The path was written before you took your first step.

You were always protected.
You just forgot to look up.

A thought arrives. You act on it.
Another follows. You obey again.

Most of us live like this. Servants to whatever the mind suggests.

But watch closely and you'll notice a gap.
The thought appears. Then a pause. Then you decide.

That pause is yours.

You are not your thoughts.
You are the one who watches them arrive.

The mind is a tool.

Mastery isn't silencing the mind.
It's choosing which voice takes the wheel.

We take everything so seriously.

The small delays. The unanswered messages. The plans that fall apart.

We act like the universe owes us smooth days.
Like chaos is a glitch instead of the default.

Absurdism says otherwise.

It doesn't ask you to stop caring.
It asks you to stop clenching.

The world won't explain itself.
It never promised to.

You can rage at that. Or you can laugh.

Not because nothing matters.
Because not everything needs to.

Some things deserve a shrug.
Maybe most things do.

You're halfway through the list before you wonder why it exists.

Tasks checked. Meetings attended. Messages sent.
Movement everywhere. Direction nowhere.

We're taught that doing is virtuous.
That motion means progress.
That stopping invites failure.

But action without intention is just inertia dressed as effort.

The question isn't what you're doing.
It's whether you chose it.

Some days the answer is yes.
Some days you realise you've been running on a script someone else wrote.

Autopilot keeps things moving.
It doesn't know where you actually want to go.

Pause long enough to ask.
Not whether you're busy.
Whether you're building something that matters.

I lifted my phone to catch the moment.
Light was right. Framing felt perfect.
Thumb hovered, ready.

In focusing on the photo, I stepped out of it.
The sound. The air. The quiet detail that only lasts a second.
All softened while I adjusted the shot.

The camera promised proof.
What it took was presence.

We reach for our phones to hold a moment still.
But sometimes the cost is the very thing we wanted to keep.
The memory forms thinner when we’re busy recording it.

Some moments don’t ask to be kept.
They ask to be lived.

A magpie and a rosella sharing an apple.
Two birds you’d never expect side by side.

One all sound and shadow.
The other colour and light.
Different notes, same song.

Maybe harmony isn’t about sameness.
It’s about knowing there’s space for contrast too.

A car pulled out in front of me.
Reflexes took over. A quick swerve. Tyres caught. Silence.

For a moment I waited for the crash that never came.
Then I breathed.

Usually, my mind would loop the what-ifs.
Replay the fear. Build a story that never happened.

But this time felt different.
For once, I didn’t hold on to the fear.
Just the relief.

It’s easy to obsess over what could’ve gone wrong.
Harder to stay grateful for what didn’t.